aloha, can't sleep tonite,got a few hours maybe 3.
pain mostly,fibro and bad weather are a sleeepless combo plate.
LSD & AMERINDIANS
Soul Mate has chided me for Not pointing out my LSD and psychedlic usage was from the 60s to 90s (pre Diabetes) and not going into details of purpose et al.okay okay.
bear with me,
my Profile (see right) says BLACK NOT AFRO-AMERICANIS.
me,not a big fan of Hyphenated Americans,some of my ancestors have been buried in this beloved soil for over 10,000 years.when do we lose the goddamn hyphen?
on my fathers side in North Carolina were Cherokee and possibly Seminole,both owned slaves and let some earn their freedom.on my mother's side the fierce and deadly Apache some of whom were partially domesticated when they tired of fighting the US Army and Calvary (ironically enought the black Buffalo Soldiers).my grandather changed his name to John Stone after some legal scuffle elsewhere so tracking his backstory is near impossible, i have a treasured booklet of my mother's ancestry and family tree.
so i would be Afro-Cherokee/Seminole-Apache American,when does it end? my kids would add Irish in front of that and so on and so on and so on.
i am not African, i have had several snobbish African college students call me a "mongrel" to my face,not cool but accurate.
black... the south had a rainbow of terms for the amount of black blood you had ranging from mulatto,high yellow to octoroon to quadroon etc etc. black blood must be Hella Powerful to taint the gene pool so.i have met Africans so black they shined purple,by comparison i am the color of cardboard and genetics says the darkest partner determines skin color (except in haploid births-see Google).
back to LSD
in my research as a kid i found that Amerindians have a famously high PAIN THRESHOLD,it was my birthright so i developed it.nothing like limping around on one lung and surviving repeated asthma attacks for practice (see Doc Holliday entry).i was No Hero but i saw it as part of self mastery then i found martial arts and took it much further,i saw and did things i still find hard to believe,but that is off topic for now.anyway, you cannot study the ancestors without drowning in shamanic practices (plus i minored in AMRICAN INDIAN HISTORY at City College SF).
the ancestors live in a world much richer and yet more fragile than the Consensus Reality of our mundane average life.Carlos Castenada made a fortune writng about it but i personally .IMHO.think he's fraud (look him up,Google).when i tripped over Zen Buddhism in LA in 1968 (b4 LSD) i found an unlikely spiritual link to my red ancestors.if you've ever truly know Amerindians you will find they have a quiet but sly sense of humor,once they trust you.the Outlaw Josey Wales ( Clint Eastwood)-a great film-has several authentic examples of this.Zen taught me a lot of things and still does,one thing it taught me was LETTING GO OF FEAR.
now it happens i had done some research on LSD in the early 60s while at a community college in Texas,i had no thots of partaking merely doing research in case i wanted to write about it some day.
when you take LSD the thing you are Most Afraid Of is the first thing you meet.the ancestors knew this from their travels.i used LSD trips,among others, to strengthen my faith and to explore what was Beyond The Veil (of so called Reality).i was truly delighted to find that WHAT I THOT I BELIEVED IN,I BELIEVED IN!
is that too Zen? there are lots of poseurs and phonies (don't get me started as i can't afford to be sued) but when the Zen Temple of SF, which was three blocks from where i lived,gets closed due to international gun running THAT IS NOT ZEN!!!
Pain,Shamanic Voyages and haiku.
Zen Buddhism is technically a philosphy,open to all, not a cutthroat crusading religion.D T SUZUKI who brought Zen to the Beats and America in general was Not a Zen Buddhist himself, he was a purveyor of knowledge,as he understood it.Zen is like sushi, don't swallow anything that disagrees with you.not that it's easy mind you...
Pain is considerd 'subjective', after eons they are finally finding ways to measure it 'objectively'. people are not machines you can 'objectively' grease the gears of to help them run better.much crip/chronic pain Reality is not like that.
Zen is my bedrock of faith and self renewal (that and love & sex & chocolate,running on rage and adrenaline eventually runs dry).
it's 5 ayem now and i hope this is making some kind of sense.
haiku 5-7-5
a simple poem expressing a not so simple truth...oh boy, i minored in Japanese at SF State but i have forgotten most of it."Yurgen" -a babys smile, a field of fresh flowers, a beautiful sunset and young love all have someting in common. it's called yurgen in Japanese,English has no words for it.haiku look for yurgen.i studied and failed at writng haiku for years until i got it right.while i also studied zen koans and esoteric kung fu,but i am not getting into that tangle today.
so i was not a DEADHEAD, rarely wore tie dye before i lived in Mendocino 5 misery filled years.I BELIEVE WE CAN MAKE THIS A BETTER WORLD ONE SMALL STEP AT A TIME,WE HAVE NO CHOICE...
that's it for me.
in other news,
if you click on FOLLOWERS you can get this crap while it's hot.plus Google will think i'm not just talking to myself.
semper gumby
mega
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