Tuesday, March 30, 2010


March 25, 2010

Okay, We've Got an Insurance Reform Bill

On to Health Care Reform!


Passage of President Obama's healthcare bill proves that Congress can enact comprehensive social legislation in the face of virulent rightwing opposition. Now that we have an insurance bill, can we move on to healthcare reform?

As an organization of registered nurses, we have an obligation to provide an honest assessment, as nurses must do every hour of every day. The legislation fails to deliver on the promise of a single standard of excellence in care for all and instead makes piecemeal adjustments to the current privatized, for-profit healthcare behemoth.

When all the boasts fade, comparing the bill to Social Security and Medicare, probably intended to mollify liberal supporters following repeated concessions to the healthcare industry and conservative Democrats, a sobering reality will probably set in.

What the bill does provide

-Expansion of government-funded Medicaid to cover 16 million additional low income people, though the program remains significantly under funded which limits access to its enrollees as its reimbursement rates are lower than either Medicare or private insurance with the result some providers find it impossible to participate. Though the federal government will provide additional subsidies to states, those expire in 2016, leaving the program a top target to budget cutting governors and legislatures.

-Increased funding for community health centers, thanks to an amendment by Sen. Bernie Sanders, that will open their doors to nearly double their current patient volume.

-Reducing but not eliminating the infamous "donut hole" gap in prescription drug coverage for which Medicare enrollees have to pay the costs fully out of pocket.

-Insurance regulations covering members' dependent children until age 26, and new restrictions on limits on annual and lifetime on lifetime insurance coverage, and exclusion of policies for children with pre-existing conditions.

-Permission for individual states - though weakened from the version sponsored by Rep. Dennis Kucinich -- to waive some federal regulations to adopt innovative state programs like an expanded Medicare.

All of these reforms could, and should, have been enacted on their own without the poison pills that accompanied them.

Where the bill falls short

-The mandate forcing people without coverage to buy insurance. Coupled with the subsidies for other moderate income working people not eligible for Medicare or Medicaid, the result is a gift worth hundreds of billions of dollars to reward the very insurance industry that created the present crisis through price gouging, care denials, and other abuses.

-Inadequate healthcare cost controls for individuals and families. 1. Insurance premiums will continue to climb. Proponents touted a "robust" public option to keep the insurers "honest," but that proposal was scuttled. After Anthem Blue Cross of California announced 39 percent premium hikes, the administration promised to crack down with a federal rate insurance authority, an idea also dropped from the bill. 2. There is no standard benefits package, only a circumspect reference that benefits should be "comparable to" current employer provided plans. 3. An illusory limit on out-of-pocket medical expenses. But even in the regulated state exchanges, insurers remain in control of what they offer and what will be a covered service. Insurers are likely to design plans to attract healthier customers, and many enrollees will likely find the federal guarantees do not protect them for medical treatments they actually need.

-No meaningful restrictions on claims denials insurers don't want to pay for. Proponents cite a review process on denials, but the "internal review process" remains in the hands of the insurers, and the "external" review will be up to the states, many of which have systems now in place that are dominated by the insurance industry with little enforcement mechanism.

-Significant loopholes in the much touted insurance reforms: 1. Provisions permitting insurers and companies to more than double charges to employees who fail "wellness" programs because they have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol readings, or other medical conditions. 2. Permitting insurers to sell policies "across state lines", exempting patient protections passed in other states. Insurers will likely set up in the least regulated states in a race to the bottom threatening public protections won by consumers in various states. 3. Allowing insurers to charge three times more based on age plus more for certain conditions, and continue to use marketing techniques to cherry-pick healthier, less costly enrollees. 4. Insurers may continue to rescind policies, drop coverage, for "fraud or intentional misrepresentation" - the main pretext insurance companies now use.

--Taxing health benefits for the first time. Though modified, the tax on benefits remains, a 40 percent tax on plans whose value exceeds $10,200 for individuals or $27,500 for families. With no real checks on premium hikes, many plans will reach that amount by the start date, 2018, rapidly. The result will be more cost shifting from employers to workers and more people switching to skeletal plans that leave them vulnerable to financial ruin.

--Erosion of women's reproductive rights, with a new executive order from the President enshrining a deal to get the votes of anti-abortion Democrats and a burdensome segregation of funds, that in practice will likely mean few insurers will cover abortion and perhaps other reproductive medical services.

--A windfall for pharmaceutical giants. Through a deal with the White House, the administration blocked provisions to give the government more power to negotiate drug prices and gave the name brand drug makers 12 years of marketing monopoly against competition from generic competition on biologic drugs, including cancer treatments.

Most critically, the bill strengthens the economic and political power of a private insurance-based system based on profit rather than patient need.

As former Labor Secretary Robert Reich wrote after the vote "don't believe anyone who says Obama's healthcare legislation marks a swing of the pendulum back toward the Great Society and the New Deal. Obama's health bill is a very conservative piece of legislation, building on a Republican (a private market approach) rather than a New Deal foundation. The New Deal foundation would have offered Medicare to all Americans or, at the very least, featured a public insurance option."

Unlike Social Security and Medicare which expanded a public safety net, this bill requires people - in the midst of the mass unemployment and the worse economic downturn since the Great Depression -- to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket to big private companies for a product that may or may not provide health coverage in return.

Too many people will remain uninsured, individual and family healthcare costs will continue to rise largely unabated and private insurers will still be able to deny claims with little recourse for patients.

If, as the President and his supporters insist, the bill is just a start, let's hold them to that promise. Let's see the same resolve and mobilization from legislators and constituency groups who pushed through this bill to go farther, and achieve a permanent, lasting solution to our healthcare crisis with universal, guaranteed healthcare by expanding and improving Medicare to cover everyone.

Leaders of the National Nurses United have raised many of these concerns about the legislation for months. But, sadly, as the healthcare bill moved closer to final passage, the space for genuine debate and critique of the bill's very real limitations was largely squeezed out.

Much of the fault lies with the far right, from the streets to the airwaves to some legislators that steadily escalated from deliberate misrepresentations to fear mongering to racial epithets to hints of threatened violence against bill supporters.

For its part, the administration and its major supporters shut out advocates of more far reaching reform, while vilifying critics on the left.

Both trends are troubling for democracy, as is the pervasive corruption of corporate lobbying that so clearly influenced the language of the bill. Insurers, drug companies, and other corporate lobbyists shattered all records for federal influence peddling and were rewarded with a bill that largely protected their interests, along with a Supreme Court ruling that will allow corporations, including the health care industry, to spend unlimited sums in federal elections.

Rightwing opponents fought as hard to block this legislation as they would have against a Medicare for all plan. As more Americans recognize the bill does not resemble the distortions peddled by the right, and become disappointed by their rising medical bills and ongoing fights with insurers for needed care, there will be new opportunity to press the case for real reform. Next time, let's get it done right.

Rose Ann DeMoro is executive director of the 150,000-member National Nurses United.


bumper sticker i bought upon becoming a parent...

finally had my Procedures done.

first you can't eat from the previous night's meal until the procedures around one monday ,so i was Starving.

second CNN/HLN decided to run a spiel - ARE FATTY FOOD AN ADDICTION? featruing ebery BAD FOOD i love, over & over and MSNBC was no better.

third, ever choke on a piece of food?
no i mean REALLY CHOKED where you yak and yak and yak trying to get it back up.....so they lubricate my left nostil to numb it then they insert a SENSOR ATTACHED TO A 2 FOOT LONG SPEGHETTI THIN HOSE down my un numbed gullet...and leave it there 15-20 minutes while they analyze readings.

they were SO PROUD i didn't gag or throw up, i wanted to but only a supreme act of will ( or masochsim) kept the damn tube down. next they knocked me out with VERSED & FENTANYL for the Endoscopy ( tv cam down the gullet for a peek) i will know in about two weeks what the results are, maybe.

SNUCK INTO AND OUT OF KABUL LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT...did KARAZI tell him the war is unwinnable and his shabby government is hopelessly corrupt or that KANDAHAR will be FALLUJAH in Pashtun? or did he stroke him like a john in a seedy brothel and only tell him what he wanted to hear? huge sigh....3000 dead in the WTC so now how many soldiers "have to die"?

did you hear about O BOMBER'S MORTGAGE RELIEF PLANS ahead, too little and too late and such actions are VOLUNTARY. yup, just like putting CONSUMER PROTECTION in Treasury, the same peeps who drove us over the economic watefall to begin with. HUGE HUGE SIGH... there are signs being put up outside small towns in the Deep South of a monkey grinning W saying MISS ME YET? only the raging TEA BAGGERS & other astroturfed out idiots oh and Sarah Palin who IMHO should get Rep. Michelle Bachmann (sp?) as a running mate so that they could both share the same heavily padded cell...


i am still slightly hungover and my nostril hurts, i gotta go.

namaste y'all

Saturday, March 27, 2010


"Think twice before you speak to a friend in need." AMBROSE BIERCE


as i said she came from Marysville and a Very Religious family so when her belly began to swell in High School she was branded WHORE by all she knew, so her belly got bigger and bigger and bigger and she gave birth to A 16 LB OVARIAN TUMOR(yes, she was still a virgin)...but by then she had already begun to hand out with THE BAD GIRLS and sharpen her passive aggressive ways then KFC after HS...

there is a GAHAN WILSON cartoon which shows the Frankenstein Monster dragging a terrified blonde to a JUSTICE OF THE PEACE in the middle of the night, the caption is SURPRISED? i gave this cartoon to COPPER PENNY as a marriage proposal in my attempt to get fired and it worked (by the way this is NOT illegal), yes i knew she was squirrrely but most of the details came later...

when we worked at the TRIADS HOTEL Thanksgiving came around and my mother's family was having a FAMILY REUNION in LOS ANGELES, my mother couldn't afford to come and the hotel was in chaos, at the opening then Mayor DiFi was speaking out front while we dragged a corpse out the back (natural causes). i lived three blox from the hotel and COPPER PENNY lived in Contra Costa and the end of a BART line, i offered her my place to stay while i flew down to LA ( i had already paid my mother's trip and this was THE LAST FLIGHT OPEN FOR THAT DAY!).
being passive aggressive CP waited until the very last minute to show up then sent signals of how she intended to show her gratitude (on her knees). i literally had NO TIME to even consider this and rushed out to catch my plane...just like when DEBRA KNOTTS had responded to my overtures after her BF left i was going to work fulltime,college fulltime and had KORAK AND HIS FAMILY living with me, there was NO TIME.

so i had graduated college and had gone to a MASS HIRING for the TRIADS HOTEL to shepherd KORAK thru the interview process ( so he could repay me the thousand i loaned him to move next door), as a result I GOT A JOB AND HE DIDN'T huge sigh. the week i started the interesting guy who hired me was fired leaving me with a dithering ex cop boss who hired a rich cokehead (who rebuilt vintage Porsches, a trust fund baby) to be his assistant who brought in COPPER PENNY as his sex toy and scapegoat (apparently).

i met MY EX while i worked at the TRIADS HOTEL and crushing on COPPER PENNY. KORAK and i ran the GRAVEYARD SHIFT and MY EX joined late in the adventure so she was sitting in the office one night when KRIS (kristaki-lover of waterfalls) the attractive but brassy SWING SHIFT Supervisor started recounting the details of her shift while stripping off her uniform to c -thru bra and pantyhose, (KRIS has HUGE FURRY BUSH and never wore panties) .MY EX WAS STUNNED BUT PLEASED ...later going from Swing to Graveyard .

now KRIS was half black and half Japanese, her parents called her BLACKIE because of her deep caramel color whereas he sister was smarter, lighter,more beautiful and a doctor/slash catalog model.like COPPER PENNY she had issues which she worked out sexually and drugwise. now KRIS had been severely poisoned at a previous jobsite and i think it was UC who was paying for her medical care as nobody else had ever lived thru such a BODY BURDEN (think a PG& E transformer blew and she and another woman had to stand in the spray to keep others away, KRIS miscarried after that and UC kept the fetus). anyway KRIS had never slept with a black guy and decided that i would be her FIRST...except KRIS was married with two adorable biracial kids (both boys i babysat them) and I DON'T SCREW MARRIED WOMEN.

so KRIS had slowly escalated the nudity, first peeking half dressed from the office bathroom then more and more the finally undressing in front of us and once taking off her bra to show her rat chewed bra, (we bought her another one at Macy's and watched her put it on). being a DOG and studly, it was easy enuff to steer KORAK to KRIS so i could deal with our nightly chaos ( we were trying to adapt a lengthy bean counter statisitical (sp?) spreadsheet format to reality) and reassure SLUT PUPPY our queeny high maintainence openly gay guard, we were all very well paid security guards at this time (that would soon end).

so i got to be FATHER CONFESSOR and accomplice to KORAK & KRIS SCREWING LIKE CRAZED WEASELS. when it ended i was still friends with both until me and MY EX BECAME A COUPLE & KORAK LEFT HIS FAMILY FOR AN ASIAN WOMAN WITH A YACHT...saw KRIS decades later, me and SOUL MATE were outside the ALAMEDA COUNTY BLDG protesting IHSS cuts and KRIS was there with her healthcare worker, looking very much the same just more tired.

when i knew her KRIS & HER HUSBAND snorted so much cocaine the dealer delivered to their house, KRIS USED IT FOR THE PAIN AND HER DOCTOR SAID IT WAS SO PURE IT WAS "ALMOST PHARMACEUTICAL QUALITY" (basically uncut). her husband made beautiful but toxic lead fumes stained glass in the living room of their rented Victorian, no masks or air filters involved.

when i met MY EX2B she had a terrible SUPERCUTS do which made her look 40ish ( she was then 30 and i 38) and she was married to THE MANCHILD whose phone tantrums were a regular event, she and MRS.BUTTERWORTH (shaped like the syrup bottle) a cow slow dim black woman who eventually would go on to critically stab one of her lovers in OAKLAND- were some of the few women on the @40 person crew.

when it was built our snotty Mayor DiFI made them promise to hire locally, one third from the nabe, one third from the city etc etc.this they did and within six months they had whittled the @40 person crew to less than 20, which was totally inadequate for a high rise hotel in a bad nabe of Market Street.so it goes...

there i think about covers everything, at least the highlights.

namaste y'all
it's all true!

Friday, March 26, 2010


"We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it." WILL ROGERS

SHRINKAGE is BIZSPEAK for loss by theft, usually by damages, shoplifting or employees.

surveys have shown that UNHAPPY EMPLOYEES STEAL, mostly to get the wage they feel they deserve.how can i put this delicately? i can testify to the veracity of these surveys....in my 30 years as a member of the workforce EVERY SINGLE JOB I EVER HAD HAD THEFTS. except maybe PG&E HQ but i was only there a month.
when i worked at PACIFIC BELL HQ back in the 70s people were stealing electric typewriters,industrial sweepers and even employee cars from the attached parking lot. the company i worked for brought in people to man every door and stop it, we did. then the next rotating clowns in Company Security came and looked around WHY ARE WE PAYING ALL THIS MONEY FOR SECURITY? NOTHING EVER HAPPENS HERE. sigh...so it goes, by then i was out the door ready to drive a cab (circa 1975).

i have had some TERRIBLE BOSSES (see COPPER PENNY blog) the coked up, the paranoid, the usual incompetents,the drunks, the senile, the dictators, the sexists (including some females) and the penny pinching.i have been duped or hungry when i took some jobs and often bailed as soon as i could....under THE RIGHT CONDITIONS I CAN BE AN EXCELLENT WORKER.(i.e. leave me alone and let my do my damn job)

from an article i found and told MY BOYZ about,
when you get a new job it has three facets;
1. the job you were hired to do (usually by someone who does NOT Know the job)
2. the job requirements as they really are
3. the job YOU WANT TO DO.

yeah, each reasons i hated being a temp.
i was going to write more about this but my train of thot got derailed by a phone call from the hospital where i was last monday about my insurance for my procedure NEXT MONDAY huge huge sigh.God(s) help us...

Detroit, the wounded and long suffering city, is proposing to follow an idea many city planner suggest whose time has come.CONTRACTING THE CITY LIMITS, CONCENTRATING THE POPULACE TO BETTER UTILIZE PUBLIC TRANSIT AND CONVERT BLIGHTED NABES INTO PARKS AND URBAN FARMS.we in KALIpornia have hectars of ugly ugly suburbs atop some of the finest more fertile farmland on this aging planet...

speaking of common sense, my friend O WISE HOWARD has sent me pictures of steel container housing units in Shanghai (i think) which have been converted into...affordable "surplus workers housing" .so i am not a lone voice of sanity crying out to the igorant wilderness.

waiting for WEEDS to return meanwhile NURSE JACKIE IS BACK and a new show on FX shows promise JUSTIFIED based on ELMORE LEONARD Short stories, if you're a fan.
saw ROBERT REICH on LINK TV as i prophesied, of the 8 MILLION LOST AMERICAN JOBS some jobs may start trickling back within 3-4 years BUT SOME JOBS ARE GONE GONE GONE (unless u speak Chinese and are willing to emigrate).

namaste y'all
semper grumpy

Thursday, March 25, 2010


"SO?!" famous Dick Cheney response to war atrocities....

went to a meeting this ayem and was told this was the sacto insiders basic response to PEOPLE WILL DIE IF YOU CUT THESE BUDGETS!
HUGE LONG SIGH,thot so...is there a number that is TOO MANY?
so far unknown, will keep you posted.

was meditating on redheads this morning then met a new one at the meeting ,dyed or not unknown, any way i thot of DEBRA KNOTTS a redhead with freckles i sat behind at CCSF, nice lady,very very sweet but in a relationship.

COPPER PENNY i met later at a hotel job.born in Marysville i think.she met her future husband at KFC where they both worked, he demanded that she get a better paying job so that they could marry....so she went to Police Academy and became a cop then he dumped her for the girl he was cheating on while she attended class.
COPPER MIND LOST HER MIND then quit her cop job and rolled like tubmleweed to frisico where i met her. now my Biological Clock was kicking into over drive and like one of those monster from ALIEN i was looking for a female to lay eggs.

COPPER PENNY was one of those conflicted submissives who gave off flirty signals until you responded then got all huffy and offended , found out she was also a casual but skilled fellatrice at local clubs. soa after doing a lil STAB & DANCE i used our non relationship to get myself fired from a REALLY TERRIBLE JOB. my immediate supervisor was a cokehead who never read our daily reports, i kept firing a lazy guy over and over who was related to another supervisor (my Bad?), the Housekeeping supervisor stole the overtime pay of his minions when not flushing their heads in 'dirty' toilets,MY EX (*) 2 B was screwing co workers in stairwells, three separate coke rings were competing inside the hotel which was probably owned by Triads (Chinese Mafia) and my ex shift supervisor was a mercenary who boasted about working for the CIA after a career in the Marines SIGH.

not one of the best times in my life, i was foolish then calculating. i got a years worth of unemployment for an ILLEGAL FIRING, natch.plus i got KORAK A JOB as my assistant and of course he got fired too, then there was another woman there who was Interesting and usually half naked...i will give her a NOM DE BLOG later.

despite this i was less leery of PENNY when MY EX brought her home....c'est la vie.what was the worst that could happen?? HA! (see prior blogs)

namaste y'all
semper grumpus

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


"You are NOT defeated until you STOP resisting."
PLO & Intifada maxim on LINK TV today.

24% of Republicans surveyed think that OBAMA IS THE ANTI CHRIST...sigh, how can u fight this? probably the same 24% who think W WAS THE GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER! we need more padded cells and anti psychotics in the water supply..(thanx O Wise Howard)


HALF BLACK, BIPOLAR, WITH ASPERGERS LIVING IN UTAH...sounds like the punchline of a really filthy joke but it's just my youngest son M. still okay in Mormon land.
my oldest son who had THE ADULT EQUIVALENT OF SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME and was in a coma after his auto accident about two years (?) ago is relearning our crazy world one mistake at a time, sometimes i envy him but mostly i don't.

my GI procedure has been postponed AGAIN until next week, doctors crisis again.when i had an ultrasound last monday the first thing the radiologist asked was DO YOU HAVE COLON CANCER?! NOT YET! i yelped back. HUGE HUGE SIGH.so that is THE BIG WORRY APPARENTLY, either colon or stomach cancer to explain the mystery internal bleeding.
we shall see...the readiologist laughed when i toled her the deark joke about THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THAT CEMETERY HEALTHIER THAN I AM...

SCREW THEM I BOUGHT SOME FLOWERS THIS MORNING ANYWAY, some lavender to help fertilize the zucchini & squash we plan to grow and some lobelia from seed for PRETTY.after all IT IS SPRING.

i am exhausted, SOUL MATE dragged me out into THE BEAUTIFUL WEATHER YESTERDAY and we played tourists without ever leaving the coastline,as usual we forgot our cameras and the cellphone is down, met many locals playing tourists too SMILES ALL AROUND.today is cooler and cloudy, back to cccooning...


namaste y'all
semper grumpy

Sunday, March 21, 2010


"The nature of men and women-their essential nature-is so vile and despicable that if you were to portray a person as he really is, no one would believe you." W.SOMERSET MAUGHAM, but he was Gay in Jack The Ripper Victorian times.

yesterday i watched MONSTER VS.ALIENS (a female empowerment cartoon and a pretty good one) while Soul Mate did taxes. so she came in demanding SOMETHING DISTRACTING to watch. it took awhile but we got in THE BOOK GROUP on Ovation TV, a bittersweet 7 ear old Britt com starrjng ANNE DUDEK (HOUSE , Wilson's dead blonde gf) as a depressed american single in Scotland who forms a Book Group to meet peeps. she meets three very vain Footballers Wives (soccer trophy wives),a closeted gay soccer buff, a knowitall heroin addict and KENNY a paraplegic survivor of a mountain climbing accident.

KENNY quickly becomes the sexual focal point of the series as several women in and out of the group pursue him. Kenny is VERY AMBIVALENT ABOUT SEX, ESP. WITH OTHER CRIPS. this is the dark side of Cripdom that too many crips, much like too many blax in one location, seem to cheapen the experience for those secretly embaressd by their AFFLICTION. eventually Kenny finds a busty blonde para that he has sex with then he dumps her when he becomes semi famous for a trashy novel, the audience knows its just another excuse as then he starts having sex with an underage girl...

the series is directed and written by a woman ANN ELDRDIGE? ENGLISH??? ( i forgot) who knows women and crips apparently. a good friend who, like Kenny is a very virile para, told me about WHEELIES-groupies for people in wheelchairs. a lot of this is shown in TBG as THING F*CKERS but others who play THE PITY CARD too heavy are also rejected.the one scene that made me CRINGE is when Kenny is patted on the head, dog fashion, by a prospective publisher...

the first season was okay but lil or no nudity, season two had ass, anal gay sex, olive oil missionary sex and funny daytime fellatio observed by a pissed off sister.the characters are well played and the directing is good but Not Great, it holds you after awhile.

we had a book about it which we loaned to a mediation group and never got back ( ONE CUE- BE PATIENT!) . when i went to CCSF in the 80s there was a HUMAN SEXUALITY CLASS which had a LIVE DEMO of a quad having sex with his AB ( able bodied, a crip term) GF by swinging his one good arm against her clit until Climax , unfortunately my class was full of virgins and not as much fun.they giggled much too much. SEX I INSIDE THE BRAIN NOT JUST THE SEX ORGANS and most crips i know are still Horny, over 20 years worth not counting my Pre CRIP life. so we, as a group, have not lost that which makes us most human- a LUST FOR LIFE....

i am NOT TALKING about the so called "HEALTHCARE REFORM" just now
1. because it will not do what it says.
2. i am sick of all the lies & B.S.
3. did not enjoy seeing Dennis Kucinich humiliated on national MSM TV...

maybe i am just totally pissed because my much anticipated massage therapy session tomorrow is canceled because my MT has Pneumonia ...SHEESSSHHH!

namaste y'all
semper gumby

Friday, March 19, 2010


"There are two kinds of people-those who close the bathroom door after you have sex and those who don't." folk wisdom

just a more complete picture of my ex co worker DOG...he was black, stcoky and average looking. went to High School in Frisco when blacks and samoans were often at each others throats.the naked girl on his doorstep was samona, the girl he knocked up was his samoan TRUE LOVE,she loved him too (?) but her family objected so they took her and his newborn son back to the islands and he never heard from her again.

after HS DOG worked in an ice cream store in Daly City, one day he was arrested for armed robbery and thrown in jail.witnesses ID'd him as the perp,but DOG had an ALIBI- over 60 adults and kids saw him working a birthday party serving ice cream cake and party favors. many were willing to testify and did so.it went to trial anyway and and cost his family thousands to keep him out of prision.
DOG'S MOM raised some of the money thru her church, one of the church members was a vain Haitian emigre with an unwed daughter, so the two moms married off their offspring and the woman had DOG'S SON#2 ( DOG JR.). DOG LOVES HIS SONS...the vain Mom was a clotheshorse who lived with (mooched off) them as her big mouth kept getting her fired.the daughter was mentally unstable and kept buying shoes, which she wore only once before dumping in the trunk of her car.
this woman BEGGED DOG to bring my family (first wife and sons) to their house in Vallejo for a Play Date and too smooch. now Vallejo is an OVEN in summer but we went and met Dog's son and waited for mother and daughter to arrive from a nearby amll (of course).after a while there DOG GETS A CALL FROM HER REFUSING TO COME HOME AS LONG AS WE WERE IN "HER HOUSE" sigh...so we left and DOG cheated on her until whatever their lives lead to, oh yes and his vain mother in law (shown in pictures as thin and pretty vs. his hulking obese wife) was VERY FLIRTY and often wandered around the house in lingerie or less....

so now u know.

namaste y'all

Thursday, March 18, 2010


"Liberty is the right to do whatever the law permits."
Charles Louis Montesquieu

i made a flip comment awhile ago about Tiger Wood's women and how has he was bottom feeding with cocktail waitresses and busty porn stars, most of them weren't very pretty.
in sexual addiction the quality is less important than the quantity as we shallow men evidence LOOKS IS EVERYTHING.

ELIN WOODS is blonde and kinda hot with AN IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER (is that a male porn fantasy material or what?) so regardless of class or looks TW took advantage of his money and fame to bed many many strange women.the fact each thot they were the only one says something about his charisma but the reckless texting and other flagrant behavior sez a lot about his compulsions.

that it takes a truckload of high priced goop to make you bed-able and marriage worthy. B.S.
if you say YES to most men you're pretty enuff.( see BEER GOGGLES)

i had a co worker,a real DOG, who told me of a fued he had with a girl in high school, one night she showed up at his door NAKED -SO HE JUST HAD TO SCREW HER,what? I DID NOT SCREW ARMY GIRL WHEN SHE LAY NAKED BESIDE ME. he also called the old 976 numbers and often strange women would drop by to have sex with him, often driven by their boyfriends ( they didn't know apparently) ...there was more too but i digress.HE DIDN'T CARE WHAT THE WOMEN LOOKED LIKE NOR THEY HE...it was JUST SEX,at least this was his rationale for cheating on his cold crazy wife (yes i met her). men are very good at lying to themselves and putting things in watertight emotional boxes, some wonme are equally good at this too...

now i am a tall fat crip but i am funny,smart and wry. some people like me for my personality, SOUL MATE LIKES ME FOR ME! fat girls, esp. blind dates, are always said to have "A NICE PERSONALITY" as tho men care about that more than her cup size.some guy wrote a book FAT GIRLS ARE GRATEFUL which i think bleis the secret MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO A VARIETY OF FEMALE BODY TYPES.
i am kinda conventional except i prefer taller A CUP leggy types whereas most guys like busty Playboy types and some guys actually prefer PLUS SIZE WOMEN. there has been much made that women in HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS USUALLY PUT ON ABOUT 10-20 LBS, a local talk show host, a liberal, said that these women LET THEMSELVES GO AFTER THE FISH WAS HOOKED.

i think men prefer a lil more meat to hang onto, most women will eventually feel LOVED FOR BEING THEMSELVES and stop dieting to extremes.i took me years to convince SM that i didn't secretly lust after the PAM ANDERSON BOOB HARVEST,sigh.

this is kinda scattered and rambling but i am trying to be a bit Beyond PC here, i like women as people not just sex objects (altho as sex objects i find them very tasty....)

>SANDRA BULLOCK WON AN OSCAR now apparently her marriage is over. (see above) SIGH.

BTW my pre op GI Survey has been postponed for another week, no solid reason given.
BTW 2 was reading something recently which gave MARK TWAIN credit for inventing the word 'SHEEPLE' in HIS ANTI IMPERIALIST PAPERS, anybody know better????

namaste y'all
semper grumpy

Monday, March 15, 2010


"Best" Tiger Woods joke;
Why did Tiger Woods have so many 'mistresses'? As a golfer, he was used to playing thru 18 holes.
i know i know sexist pig yada yada.

Soul Mate and i have come to admire Lady Gaga thru different interviews and music video, so imagine our delight when E!News teased an EXCLUSIVE Showing of her newest TELEPHONE.
like THE DARKER SIDE i cannot declare that i ENJOYED IT despite the fact that Gaga is wearing lil more than shades,electrical tape and and c thru pantyhose a fair amount of time.WOMEN BEHIND BARS MEETS THELMA & LOUISE, i think this vid does a disservice to both and having BEYONCE WAS NO HELP (NOT a fan).

1.okay with partial and excessive semi nudtiy.
2.thot the song itself sucked
3. thot most of the fashions dumb
4. thot use of the Pussy Wagon from KILL BILL VOL.I. was wasted, SM had not seen it.
5.was basically disappointed by uninspired editing.

speaking of KILL BILL...
there is a movment here in the East Bay (Concord,Walnut Creeek etc) about OPEN CARRY LAWS, where people are carrying UNLOADED GUNS IN HOLSTERS into public places like Starbucks...yeah, that worked so well when THE BLACK PANTHERS did it.HUGE SIGH.
despite their claim of SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS & BEING A DETERRENT TO CRIME i think these guys have seen one too many Clint Eastwood movies or NRA recruiting vids.
as i have mentioned, i am a history buff and doubt any of these guys is a Wyatt Earp or Doc Holliday and the thtot of many if the 300 million loose cannons in this country walking around half cocked and openly armed is frightening, I HAVE SEEN THE WAY THEY DRIVE!!!!!

i have been carrying a weapon both openly and secretly and it did not make my penis longer nor thicker and my fatrher's sage advice NEVER DRAW A GUN UNLESS YOU INTEND TO KILL A MAN! always was my guide, he was a WWII vet emotionally/psychologically destroyed by war, they never heard of PTSD in the 50s. i had more to say on this but thinking of my Dad has sidetracked me, anyway i think OPEN CARRY IS STUPID. i had 4-5 hours of training in Gun Safety back in the 70s to get a Gun Card , now they all but give you the answers.

BTW there is a new to me fetish online of naked or half naked women jiggling as they fire assault weapons. sex & violence, how typically typically American.
BTW 2 you DO KNOW that many female american soldiers in Iraq & Afghanistan ARE BEING RAPED BY FELLOW AMERICAN SOLDIERS or our MERCENARIES ? OMFG have these morons no respect for tradition? YOU RAPE THE NATIVES NOT YOUR ALLIES, SHEEEESH...(too crass?)

despite the beautiful weather i'm in a dark surly mood today ( can't u tell ) . despite organic chocolate, icy cold water and natural potato chips.SIGH AGAIN.
think i'll turn my PEACE FLAG to the wall and watch '24' tonight, by Jingo.

namaste y'all
semper grumpy


Reality thought for the day:

"Neither party rules. Corporations do the ruling. Politicians conduct the
public sing-along about democracy." from Mr.B /per Soul Mate

THE DARKER SIDE by CODY McFADYEN not for the squeamish!
alil back story here, I LOVE DETECTIVE MYSTERIES. in the talking book club i make no selection, they just send me a fresh mystery once a month or so. i discover new writers, i savor new writers, others i dislike.
the above book, can't exactly say i ENJOYED it and ENDURING it is not accurate either, the theme is sin & redemption and serial killers.CM is a very good writer but some of the scenes are graphic and some almost cartoonish ( a lot like Sparracus...) if u have a STRONG STOMACH & CLEAR CONSCIENCE u might like this book...not too disagreeable? ??? why i am even telling u this?
to MY EX (*) U WILL LOVE IT, i think...

speaking of loving
did i mention the film SHORTBUS by Gregg Araki (sp?) explicit comedy in the tradition of Warhol's LONESOME COWBOYS & NAKED RESTAURANT with Viva! when i lived in LA in the 60s the only place to see Warhole et al was in a converted garage down an alley off Sunset Blvd, yes Hollywood.later when i worked in nyc i met Taylor Meade and the fat woman heiress, i'm blanking on her name (ah yes, Bridget Polk?) but she was BROKEN beyond sad & pathetic just BROKEN and all her money & nude pictures couldn't buy her love & acceptance.
man, what a downer blog for SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY ! the 70s are expected for later and the sky is a crisp non breezy blue.

a regular is Warhol films usually naked or at least topfree, mophead blonde with mouse bite breasts and a tart sarcastic tongue, I LOVED HER. when i met a taller shyer but no less Fascinating version of her i jumped at the chance and she jumped too, but at me...she became my first Live In GF. i blame Andy Warhol but to my novice senses THE SEX WAS FANTASTIC.am i being too male shallow? she was six foot tall,pretty and smart and somehow intimidated most men who met her. SIGH ,men didn't know what they were missing aside from the tantrums and pettiness...

NAJUD (Pushtun) a woman of intelligence and good shape.God knows where i found this, scribbled it down decades ago, maybe one of the FLASHMAN novels or SIR RICHARD BURTON travels?

on the same theme we were watching DIVNE TRASH on Ovation TV last nite, a docu about John Waters makIing PINK FLAMINGOS which even ementioned the PALACE THEATER (nee Pagoda) in Frisco where i saw PF on a midnight show with the COCKETTES (see film TRICIAS'S WEDDING a cult classic). aside from their one movie the COCKETTES put on musical stageshows for a shoestring and often wearing less than that.THEY WERE FUN and most were on food stamps or welfare but they sang and danced their gender bending hearts out.the pot smoke was so thick in the theater all you had to do was inhale and u were high for hours.ah, those were the day my friends....

but enuff about me, SPRING IS A-COMING....dig out your flip flops (which people here wear all year long) and sp40 sunscreen and head out to a wheezy pollen rich spring. oh dear, was that too negative....yeah right.

namaste y'all

Friday, March 12, 2010


"who knew the old man had so much blood in him..."Lady Macbeth,Shakespeare

"there are people in that graveyard who are healthier than i am."me to Soul Mate recently after medical appointment (see below).

when measuring a circle begin anywhere.
next weds i am scheduled to have some tests to see if i am a viable candidate for stomach surgery.they want to see if i am healthy enuff to have my hiatal hernia and PRE CANCEROUS Barrett's Esophogus repaired. we shall see...

can't tell u how HAPPY i was to hear that students in Jacksonville,Fla were converting old shipping containers into Emergency Shelter housing for Haiti. this was on CNN yesterday,FINALLY COMMON SENSE PREVAILS!

the CALIFORNIA COASTAL COMMISSION is meeting in Santa Cruz now to determine the fate of many coastal projects, among them is ARANA GULCH ( see their notes) which is a 68 acre former dairy farm converted to a greenbelt with dirt bike and walking trails INACCESSIBLE to the disabled community.so the proposed ARANA GULCH MASTER PLAN woulkd lay an 8 foot wide MULTIUSE ADA COMPATIBLE pathway for usage of Everyone. well, that was the idea and even the CCC staff thot it was a good idea,problem is a TRANSIT ROUTE violates the CCC laws and bylaws whereas a multiusage path and eco-friendly instructional panels don't,plus there is the matter of the federally protected endangered CALIFORNIA TARPLANT ( i kid thee Not)...so what happens, a parade of tonedeaf young bike groups comes thru praising the Transit Route concept SIGH!
front page of SENILE this morning is CCC SAYS TO CONSIDER ALTERNATE PATHS....i was at the meeting and as a grizzled battle scarred old fart i could see it coming,hits the nail squarely on the thumb.TA DAAA!

fascinating interview with MICHELLE ALEXANDER, author of the book THE NEW JIM CROW which tells how the bogus WAR ON DRUGS in addition to wasting billions has created a new FELONY CASTE of young black men, half of whom are somehow compromised/ensnared by the prsion/probation complex which has over 3 MILLION in prison on mostly minor drug crimes (possession and usage NOT dealing or cartel activities) and how FELONS lose a lifetime of voting,housing and job rights due to LEGAL DISCRIMINATION...

i first heard of VAGINAL RESTORATION the way most people did, the Japanese had developed a method to reconstruct hymens and some porn stars had gotten their junk tightened after wretched excess, BFD.
then i was watching a BBC AMERICA docu on plastic surgery, did u know IRAN DOES MORE PLASTIC SURGERY THAN HOLLYWOOD,really!
anyway this ordinary looking Brit teen was getting her boobs done and maybe a nose trim then she pulled up her hospital gown and asked to get her lady bits trimmed because they looked "sloppy & ugly" and she was embrassed by them. neither the doc or her mom thot this was an odd request.apparently this was becoming a more and more common desire, this lead to a pointless online arguement with MY EX (*) about the esthetics of labia design, she favored the aerodynamic and "neat" BARBIE whereas i favored the more lush porn named "beef curtain", as usual we did not convince each other to change sides.

hmmm, i have no problem with sex changes or most cosmetic alterations (okay maybe bizarre PAM ANDERSON boobs jobs) but needless labia trims and muscle cutting penis lengthenings...HUGE SIGH, guess i'm getting OLD...

i am esp.proud of remembering the Macbeth quote from my college english classes,how apropos eh?

PAGANI on "closing" however do u manage, with only 2 sites and my usual nudes viewing i feel stressed plus YAHOO closed me down for INACTIVITY( router was down) , 2 weeks without posting and you're DISABLED funny somehow.

CORAL REEF thanx, u peeps can listen to her show online.

namaste y'all
semper gumpy

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


"i AM smiling." my usual response to constant smile demands.

as promised WHY BLACK MEN DON'T SMILE (mostly).

i was watching the OVATION TV series on blues & rock for BLACK HISTORY MONTH (sigh) and after watching hours of FATS WALLER & SACTHMO 'grinnin & skinnin' ( the Minstrel Show big eyes and big Coon Smile) i related it to Willei Besat & Stephin Fetchit. there was one candid shot of Satchmo which was FIERCE.

VAUDEVILLE & THE MINSTRELS SHOWS are still within living memory so it the scar tissue. AMOS & ANDY was on tv in daytime when i was a kid, i watched it with dread fascination and not sure why. later i recognized the feeling as RACIAL EMBARASSMENT...only when MLK & MALCOM X helped define RACIAL PRIDE.
anyway anytime someone (usually white) told me to smile for a school picture or whatever, i didn't.ditto when i was on the job,growing up in Harlem was HARD no reason to smile.

(see wedding pictures) WHEN NERVOUS MOST WOMEN SMILE & MOST MEN FROWN. in Harlem you had to develop an Poker Face to keep beatings away. i remember once in High School some black kid had his leg across my chair in class when i entered, i casually removed his leg and he then hit me in the chest as hard as he could. i didn't blink or express irrtiation or pain. that's just the was it was...the thtme has been repeated often in my life in response to rcism, threats, violence and surprise.SOUL MATE ,MY EX (*) & MY KIDS can affirm that when you get a smile from me, you've earned it.

i had something else on this topic,hmmmm..LIKE THE BATMAN I AM A REALIST ABOUT LIFE (PESSIMIST) SO WHY SHOULD I SMILE??? note side bar to find i had the BAT LOGO tattoed on my right bicep inside I CHING hexagrams.in the 60s when i first took LSD my face hurt from smiling for days.. I HAVE SAID THAT TAKING LSD (for me) WAS LIKE FRENCH KISSING GOD (S). THAT WAS SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT.

CORAL REEF good show about CHEMTRAILS last nite but No Mention of HAARP or High Altitude microbial contamination. just a thot.

think that's all from me today..

Saturday, March 6, 2010


"..like being the fastest midget in the circus." ELVIS MITCHELL,movie critic

this quote is offensive on so many levels,
heard it on TV yesterday, so naturally i thot of O BOMBER esp.when DR, MARCIA ANGELL (sp?) a Single Payer advocate from Harvard Med School was on BILL MOYERS last nite talking about the failure of WEALTHCARE REFORM and the Brer Rabbit approach of DON'T THROW ME IN DA BRIAR PATCH tactics of the Opressive Insurance Companies and how their wealth is assured via Medicare Advantage subsidies,mandated coverage and a stranglehold on the US Economy, as Rachel Maddow has pointed out THEIR MAIN PURPOSE IS TO MAKE A PROFIT NOT DELIVER HEALTHCARE...it is to weep.

namaste y'all


>Two nudists golfers,George and Bill, were hacking thru the rough looking for their balls..when a rattlesnake popped up and bit Bill on the penis. They quickly killed it with their clubs then Bill fell on the ground screaming I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! George reassured him that this was not the case and that he had a smartphoine in his gold bag which knew everything.Bill calmed down abit as George went back to his bag "cut two crosses around the bite then suck the poison out..."Hmmm, George returns to Bill with tears in his eyes BAD NEWS BUDDY...<

this is related to a LA TIMES article yesterday about the definition of I HAD SEX,from an Indiana University study..about 200 men and almost 300 women were surveyed.

INTERNET (chat/porn)
apparently like Bill Clinton there seems to be a parsing of sexual definitions no matter which orifices or senses are involved.They cited a certain cultural" sexual vagueness" which is currently bedeviling sexual researchers.

some gave handjobs, others blowjobs,some allowed digital pene BUT IT WASN'T SEX (sic) nowadays with the Purity movement apparently even anal isn't out of the question.in Harlem only Tina ( pretty & mildy retarded somehow) WENT ALL THE WAY,ANYTIME ANYWHERE.
Indiana U found that 95% agreed that missionary style sex was Sex but then they got out of the traditional numbers went all over the map.i think of RAINBOW PARTIES and TOSSED SALADS among recent kids sexual terminology.
definitions of cheating also differed between men and women.i have known men who didn't consider going to a strip club and humping some acned junkie stripper cheating,as long as they felt Emotionally committed to wifey.others just humped everything in sight regardless, like KORAK.

BTW i was once briefly involved in an infamous East Bay highly tactile nude performance group which SM regarded as cheating but since i had lil if any desire for sexual pene and NONE to leave SM. i regarded it as a harmless if bizarre recreation but then i am still a highly drugged up fat old crip, what do i know?
we are all selfish in our own interests and fantasies.
i realzied the fraud of the group when i found the two omniverously bisexual female leaders fully clothed when off duty at their dirty home SIGH.
BTW 2 and definitions of FIRST BASE,SECOND BASE seem to vary by local more than anatomy...i was going to say something else...MY EX (*) was what most black men describe as A FREAK (see Tina only without the same mental problems) sad to say i took SEXUAL HEALING Literally for five years until matters of personal survival trumped LUST & FATHERHOOD....

YOURCALL.ORG had a radio show recently talking about Buddhism esp.Zen and its varitions and asked IS THERE SUCH A THING AS AMERICAN BUDDHISM? one person pointed out that Buddhism has evolved from its roots in India to accomodate any country it has next flourished in esp.China,Thailand,Japan et al.

i have some thots on this, the Beats basically introduced modern Buddhism to the USA but there muse was D T SUZUKI a well reknown BUDDHIST SCHOLAR WHO WAS NOT A BUDDHIST! to me this is like studying an egg by examining the outside exclusively, me i'd want a yolks eye view of the egg involved (but then i am nosy like that).
anyway one of Suzuki's fans was PAUL REPS who wrote ZEN FLESH,ZEN BONES which i took as my Bible for years but like ALAN WATTS i was somewhat queasy about some of their viewpoints and interpretations. years later i found two books from the yolks eyes view and i felt validated as my INNER ZEN COMPASS was correct.
not to be a tease the books are by KATSUKI SEKIDA: TWO ZEN CLASSICS & ZEN TRAINING, IMHO on the money compass wise,you can probably find them online somewhere nowadays if you're curious or suicidally benighted as i was. did i mention i practice MAHAYANA BUDDHISM ( the Greater Vehicle) each one help one, up the rungs of enlightenment as opposed to the Theraveda (sp? the Lesser Vehicle) which is more about personal accomplishments.
BTW 3 i also followed the I CHING for years but that is for another time.

i wanna new drug? SONATA (AMBIEN LITE) took it for the first time last nite, had a good nite's sleep unfortunately i dreamed about 40 DAY FORECLOSURES all nite long., so far have not harmed mysefl of anyone else but we'll see...

namaste y'all
semper gumby

Thursday, March 4, 2010


"He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool." ALBERT CAMUS
some choice...

JOHN WASSERMAN was a Critic at Large for the SF Chronicle during the 1970s.he was Very Ecletic reviewing everything from opera to porn shows plus he was both funny and perceptive.so when he recommended a an upcoming show at The Village ( a North Beach club later to gain fame as the disco DANCE YOUR ASS OFF) i was so there. it was my first club outing in SF altho i later became a semi-regular at Bill Graham's WINTERLAND before they turned the site into ugly condos...
so the hook for the show was THE HOODOO RHYTHM DEVILS a local band Wasserman described as "the best band in San Francisco" WHOA the Jefferson Airplane,Grateful Dead,Moby Grape etc etc etc.until now the Devils had played mostly gay clubs as they were a mostly gay band but this was to be their breakout on the undercard of Iggy Pop.
so i went.

the first band was THE TUBES who had recently relocated from Arizona.BANG they put on a stage show which POPPED! and would later evolve into a virtual circus at Winter land,MONDO BONDAGE,WHITE PUNKS ON DOPE, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE and other anthems.
i was impressed and soon got their tapes.

THE DEVILS knocked my socks off.fast tight and FUN, all as advertised.
unfortunately AIDS (Reagan dare not mention its name) wiped out most of the band within 18 months, i got their only LP about ten feet from me now,it is still THAT GOOD.

i was no fan of Iggy Pop, saw him on VH1 recently and was surprised that he is still alive.
IP came out in purple low briefs and knee high buccaneer boots, he sang a few songs to adoring fans.i was in the small balcony and had a birds eye view of the tumult below...
at one point IP stage dived into the crowd who promptly pulled his briefs down and began fellating him, both boys and girls pushed to have their turn...IP announced via his mic YOU CAN SUCK ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME COME!

i was stunned.
i looked around and nobody seemed too surprised by any of this, i felt like such a rube! IP finally got back onstage, broke some glass then dived atop it to show his bloody chest to the crowd... he sang after getting his communal blowjob.WAS THIS "NORMAL" FOR SAN FRANCISCO??? OMFG!!!!

anyway this was my introduction to later having my ass groped by both boys and girls, being platonic friends with whores,gays, drunk spies,poets and serial killers yada yada yada, so now u know.
first time i went to Winterland i was standing in line and the guy ahead of me kept yelling BILL GRAHAM IS AN ASSH*LE! BILL GRAHAM IS AN ASSH*LE! so this swarthy wiry guy with wild black hair walks by, stops and knocks this dude out with one punch then continues walking inside. so i turn to the next guy in line and ask THAT WAS BILL GRAHAM? YUP.
hey rube...Bill Graham's bouncers loved to BEAT UP HELLS ANGLES TRYING TO GET IN FOR FREE.i met some,black beefy powerlifters mostly.

Iggy Pop tale,delivered.

namaste y'all
ssdd but it's SUNNY TODAY!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


"IS IT IN YOU?" Gatorade slogan linked to Tiger Woods drink b4 they dropped him...CNN IS Reporting that Bill Clinton called Tiger Woods or VICE versa.Why? to exchange numbers? to asks how many kilos of body weight per Ambien sex? make up your own punchlines...

aloha again,
ERIN BROCKOVICH is six feet tall, blonde and healthy with a killer smile (she plays a waitress in the movie named after her). we met nher about 13 years ago in Willits, which at that time she named as one of the two most toxic cities in California-the other being Kettleman City on I-5.on 4 feb this year the EPA Director planned on visited Kettleman because of the rash of birth defects SIGH.now 13 years ago they blamed most of their problems on ALLEGED DUMPING BY PG&E now there are othe culprits. based on our experience in Willits here is a possible scenario on how things will go.
1.DENY DENY DENY,hire an army of lawyers to appeal any decision.
2.if possible BANKRUPT THE VICTIMS via this.
3.blame other toxic effects for multiplicity of birth defects and stillborns.
4.intimidate relevant workers & residents into silence and submission.
5.bring community pressure and ridicule to bear against victims for smearing the local towns involved.
6.while waiting to get to Federal Court establish a large but inadequate fund to hire scientists,labs, more lawyers and administrators.
7. test,test and retest until fund is almost empty.
8.lose in Federal Court.
9. pay a pittance to the victims and run away.
10.REPEAT AT NEXT SITES....huge sigh.

we all carry a BODY BURDEN OF TOXINS from our environment,food ,clothing & utensils.some of us are the canaries in the coal mine, which of us will die first?
is it in you?> the correct answer is YES.

namaste y'all