THE JOHARI WINDOW

"He who despairs over an event is a coward,but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool." Albert Camus,cynic



aloha again,
in other news;

just reading PAUL KRUGMAN again and his commentary on O BAMA MAN seeking and compromising for BIPARTISAN CONSENSUS where none exist.the latest victim may be Universal Healthcare (sic) THE PUBLIC OPTION. SIGH. 47 millinon Uninsured and @25 million Under Insured.

speaking of options Rep.John BONER (sic) is raving about the Climate Change Bill hurting SMALL BUSINESS.why do GOP FAT CATS always rationalize their soul killing plutocratic policys by invoking the Mom & Pop stores? the only time they patronize small business is when they patronize motels or whores to cheat on their wives.FAMILY VALUES MY FAT BLACK ASS!


JOHARI WINDOWS?
most of you are probably wondering what the Title today means. when i got my useless degree in Psych at SF State in the 80s one of the concepts i found sweetest was THE JOHARI WINDOW,named after is founder i presume. it's a series of 4 sometimes overlapping boxes which represent aspects of our personalities.one medium size box represents the image we project and what we think of ourselves,a larger box represents what others think of us (e.g. you may think you're the Son of God but everybody else thinks you're an assh*le!), another smaller box represnts who you really are and a fourth tiny box represents the subsconscious or something (gimme a break it's been almost 30 years since i read thus stuff).

why is this releveant?
see blog about my X BFF KIM...

ready now?
when KORAK THE KILLER was dating then living with Kim it was the culmination of a series of events.a short recap of the man MY EX (*) calls My First Wife...born in Okla, raised in Southern California as a Catholic, father routinely molest/incested his sister while his mother pretended not to notice,father often beat him brutally with bricks and 2x4s,went to Viet Nam as a Marine and served near Khe Sanh, FREE FIRE ZONE meant you could kill anything that moved & he did and LOVED IT. did multiple tours of Nam,did 11 years in the Marines before being kicked out, did covert ops while living in the Phillipines with his second wife (never divorced the one in L.A. with his biological son) escorted Boat People from the Mekong Delta to safety,protected American assests 'outside the wire' then returned to USA when he ran out of money,saved money to bring his adored older P.I. wife and adopted son (whom he bought for a bottle of hooch from a whore) then he met me while we worked at a Union Square area (downtown SF) classy hotel, then he moved in with me for about five years until i loaned him (?) a thousand to move his family out.

BACKSTORY 2
in the early 80s the SF Chroncile did a long piece or two on GUNTHER KAUSEN (sp?) a German national who also happened to be the biggest slumlord in the Tendelrloin area of SF (where me and Korak lived), he also held this title in several cities in Germany and i think London.now Kausen had sprung from obscurity to mega wealth and was reputed to be a bagman for the Russian Mob and the fact that he returned from the US to Europe with satchels full of cash added weight to the money laundry rumors.oddly enuff i had met Kausen, a small wiry balding man who always dressed in dark shabby clothes which looked secondhand, the shabby slumlord stayed at the classy hotel i worked at!

BACK TO KORAK
anyway, something really bad happened and Kausen was instructed by the City Fathers to beef up Security at his slums,which he did. Korak, jobless at the time,apllied for a job and wound up being hired as HEAD OF SECURITY (still he never paid me back,granted his P.I. wife was a spendthrift and wannabe fashion maven).so Korak being Korak he stocked his crew with Nam vets (some of whom were crackheads and bullies,i had worked with their demented PTSD bragging asses)) and needy single mothers. now Korak had ,despite rumors, always claimed he was faithful to his PI wife while she was overseas and then here.but i had ears on the ground and so did his wifey. Korak seemed to specialize in Horizontal Recruitment (his motto CAN'T GET DOWN IF THE LADY AIN'T BROWN!) and one of his chief office assistants was a tall striking black woman. so now Korak lived and worked in the Tenderloin all within range of his wifey and her many pinoy relatives...SIGH.
his wife made many a scene at his nearby office based on what she heard but he didn't stop. now Kim had met Korak many times since he was always at my apartment even after he moved next door, Korak had a brand of Alpha Male animal magnetism that most females found irresistable, so i guess it was inevitable that they hook up one day -after she had slept with everybody else i worked with.

now in Germany the Heat from several countries was closing in on Kausen based on tax evasion or money laundering and he was given a choice by the Russian Mob presumably to either kill himself and save his family or...
so Kausen committed suicide and Korak and his crew were out of a job.
Korak moved in with Kim after his wifey had confronted me about him staying out all hours, Korak had told her that we were at a SoMa (South of Market) club stuffing dollar bills into the G strings of go go boys!!! WTF??? altho an infrequent patron of cheaper strip clubs i was unemployed at the time and this was not an option for either male or female dancers.
so i told her the truth and my deep friendship with Korak began to unravel. now Korak was abusive physically to his wifey ( i heard them thru the thin walls) and she was likewise emotionally abusive in return,wifey had often comnplained about this situation in graphic detail (including the hot Make Up sex) to Kim and expressed disbelief to me that Kim would take Korak in,knowing what she knew.

we all have our demons...as Paul Harvey would say SO NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY. {as usual the names are false but the details are the TRUTH as i see it.Welcome to my Johari Windows...}

i was also going to include a website for Medicare rights ,next time.

namaste
semper gumbo
mega