FAVORITE SON

"At least you've always worked." my Mother expressing her infinite disappointment in me.

aloha again, still sorta down about Tick.

my youngest troubled son (Aspergers & bipolar) is pissed at me because he is not my favorite son (altho he is his mother's). i told him to imagine being an only child and not being the favorite.my EX BROTHER is 16 years younger than me, he was born the summer i graduated High School. he has always been my mother's favorite...as a result he is a sloppy,married,wife cheating HERPES DONOR who only cares about himself.i asked & begged for years to get the only pictures of my father and grandfathers but he was much too busy chasing tail until one day a pipe burst and ruined everything.

he only called when he needed something and when he visited us in Berkeley with his wife and met Soul Mate he was chatting up hotties and 15 years olds who actually listened.being honest with myself, one day i asked if i would put up with this sh*t from a non relative,after all i had kicked Korak the Killer to the curb for the same thing.i wrote NYC and informed him of my decision, his wife called up in tears begging me to reconsider. this is the same wife who has spies all over NYC to see who he's f*cking, she escaped an abusive marriage before him with her dignity and a girl child.some role model he was...

My Mother always blamed me 'for ruining her life',much as my youngest son blames me. when my father died i realized how disturbed my Mother was and that i was in no way responsible for her unhappiness.that was the beginning of my ACA adulthood (Adult Children of Alcoholics).

i had a point i was going to make...ah, maybe i was Lucky not being my Mother's favorite after seeing how badly my Ex Brother turned out.i learned to think on my feet and survive just about anything.i once gave up sex for five years because i sucked at relationships, the sex was Great but the heartbreak and suffering wasn't ( i still had Zen,movies,porno and live erotic theatre). i suppose my Mother expected me to die in prison or in a drive by, people with some degree of Self Awareness can change, something my Mother never recognized in herself or others.

in other news,
yes i still haven't posted new links on the blog page.maybe later this week.

namaste
semper gumby
mega