SEMPER GUMBY

"Stay committed to your decisions,but stay flexible in your approach."
Tom Robbins author

aloha again,
my children think i am a terrible parent.
sometimes,when i am depressed and in EXTREME PAIN (like now) i agree.

my children think My Ex is a somewhat failed saint.
IMHO i disagree.
she is the same age as Madonna and almost a flamboyant.when we were together she had pierced ears,nose,nipples,navel and prepuce (clit hood) and a growing collection of expensive mismatched tattoos and when i came home i never knew what her hair color would be. artist painter/cartoonist,ACA, (jealous) LSD loving bisexual sex addict,musician of sorts, cheap fashionista,nudist,ex Catholic and DAVID LYNCH film fan,we had a lot in common then. when she became pregnant one of her older sisters gave us a book of monsters & mutations, everything that could possibly go wrong in the womb.sweet jesus(passive aggressive a specalty). My Ex defines herself as a self medicating ADHD Adult,good enough.

i once told her once to clean up her act (thinking she could,she couldn't)otherwise our kids 'would think I LOVE LUCY is a documentary'. Folie a Duex indeed.while we were together she took two different jobs and forgot to ask what they paid, turns out they paid nothing. one was even an elobarate scam which bilked many.we met at work,me after wolf girl and she was married to The Manchild. you've heard of YOUR MONEY IS 'OUR MONEY' & MY MONEY IS MY MONEY?' hard to raise a family under those conditions but not impossible. we had GOOD CLEAN DIRTY FUN,OFTEN even with kids.

this whole foreclosure mess reminds me of the time we were evicted by the bank for non payment of rent,we had the receipts but our landlord turned out to be a crackhead liar and so we went.we seemed to move every year or so,which totally blew out my bad back. she tells the kids she married me because she thot i would produce beautiful & brilliant children,yes but our combined DNA is a witches brew of unexpected results.my bipolar youngest thinks that i should've known more about Genetics in 1986 than most labs do now.Yeah right...

"A dissatisfied woman demands toasted snow." Arab Proverb
if those days if i could've provided toasted snow i would have.
we fought a lot, she likes to fight ...for the drama.nothing was ever resolved,some days she would just invent sh*t or lift something from her stash of emotional warfare/ getting a divorce books.she even pretended to have PMS for years until i studied up on it.
one of TS Eliot's poems (The Hollow Men?) ends with "this is the way the world ends,this is the way the world ends;not with a bang but a whimper". one day you wake up exhausted and weary of the struggle and before you ask yourself "do i want to grow old with this woman?" you already know the answer.

My Ex had a friend i nicknamed AXEL after the white wolverine in the Fusco Bros comic strip.Axel had two parents who were cops and came to SF to become a sex worker/heroin addict wtih big implants.Axel once said "if a man can make you laugh,he can make you come and if he can make you come he OWNS you!" not true.
The Beatles song ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE...not true either.
the knife in my heart is when i told her' i did every thing i could to make you happy.'
her reply "i don't want to be happy". intensity over intimacy, a common complaint.GAME OVER.

don't be so hard on yourself Pagani (read your blog) i forgot who said it but they say "it matters not how many times you get kncoked down but how many times you get up again."
sorry this is not more entertaining.

P.S. ANON you should move to Berkeley where you would feel at home.watch that forehead vein okay?

namaste
mega