THE MALE EGO

"A people beset by plague,living out the twilight of a corrupt and foundering empire, we are in desperate need of spiritual consolation." SF Chronicle headline @1988

aloha again,
i think the Male Ego should be declared a legal disability.
women and blacks know that MOST MEN ARE HIGH MANTAINENCE (esp.some White Men).

i have examples....
1.my BFF of the taxi years( 1976-1981) was Breck. i loved this guy.when i moved he was the only one who showed up to help. i almost got into a gunfight in a pimp bar (we didn't know,we were just beer thirsty) so literally would've taken a bullet for this gun (luckily we were both armed too).so he split with his GF when she began making more money than he and his boners disappeared.i was at his home consoling him and looking at his bookcase.now he had two degrees is Psych so i was not too surprised to see THE ORIGIN OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE BREAKDOWN OF THE BICAMERAL MIND by Julian Jaynes. now this was a densely written tome, a thousand plus pages of collegespeak and theories.
so i mentioned it and Breck railed that it was 'impossible to read & unfathomable'.i innocently noted that it had taken me a year to read,off & on, and gave a synopsis of what i thot Jaynes was getting at.
BIG MISTAKE. my naive remarked ended our friendship,not ASAP but i saw it getting colder.
2.when Army girl got raped i called on my other BFF and taxi driver Bill,also my next door nabe, to sit in the dark sipping wine while i played sad music and cried.now Bill was a popluar local poet who wrote about how sensitive he was to everything. a lie, thus ended our friendship too.
3.at SF State there was one class i was looking forward to,Prof N.i had read several of his books and agreed with the world that HE WAS BRILLIANT! okay so i get into his class and mildly disagreed with the context of one of his exam questions and he froze me out. a leggy blonde girl in a very short skirt,obviously clueless, got called on if only the two of us had our hands up.a tattooed dyke in the back row cued me to the Facts of Life.young girls,festoon the front row in short skirts usually sans panties & get the As everybody else is a B.i tested this hypothesis and it seemed to be valid then i moved my seat so i could stare out the window during the dry lectures and took my B like a man.
4.my NYC GF Jo was 23 years older than i and never had an orgasm, yes she'd been faking it since her teens 'you know how men are' says she. she truly believed that the Female Orgasm was male propaganda until....she stopped breathing and was still. my thots "Oh sh*t,i've killed her! how am i going to explain this to the cops???" le petit mort,now i know why the French call it 'the lil death'. i made her happy awhile ,despite her anuerism scars and failing memory,then i left,back to California.
5.my NYC>Calif GF "A" was over six feet tall and i was puzzled one day in 1971 when she asked my permission (!) to wear heels.seems her other men refused to go out if she was taller than them,quelle horror? her long fantastic legs looked great in heels and that day i began watching tall women in heels with their men. TOM-KAT?
6.before i married My Ex she was married to The Manchild, who threatened one night to throw all her clothes into the street if she didn't come home ASAP from a sleepover at our hotel's Grand Opening,a woman died there the same day just to make it more interesting.he was convinced we were having a orgy! based on what besides his imagination?
7.i have talked to men who felt they had 'permission to cheat' once their wives had children and they no longer felt like the center of the universe. Korak the Killer was of this camp, with both his wives.he also found that a few routine slaps after an argument made for good foreplay,unfortunately his psychic Catholic wife agreed.i could hear them quite clearly thru my kitchen wall then both later told me their versions of reality.when My EX and i worked together we also had KTK and Bev to contend with. Bev was pretty,smart,coked up,biracial and loud, she always wore a c thru bra and pantyhose withou panties expsoing her huge bush.she routinely paraded around the office like this while KTK and i were trying to organize the graveyard shift.she was trying to seduce me but i pawned her off on KTK , who had no objections, and they had a short torrid half assed affair.no guilt either way apparently.
8. i wish that i could say most disabled men i have met in the last 15 plus years were better,i can't...

9...Soul Mate has teased me about writing this blog and i protested that examples of Testoserone Poisoning in my own life were too many to mention.it might be thicker than Jaynes's book, you out there can keep score okay?

in other news,
Foster Anderson & Shared Adventures put out an ACCESS SANTA CRUZ booklet (gratis, they have it online too) which makes it easier for crips to navigate Santa Cruz. they also put on DAY ON THE BEACH with hundreds of volunteers which takes crips kayaking,surfing,sailing and so on. like their Day at the Airport takes crip kids flying over Watsonville. they do good work,check it out.

namaste
semper grumpy
mega