SPIRITUAL WOUNDS

"Humankind cannot bear very much reality." T.S.Eliot

aloha again,
for once i don't have answers so please bear with me.

a radio talk show caller asked the host not to use the childish word GREEDY,(for the current economic meltdown/bailout/fraud) but instead to use MONEY ADDICTION to denote an uncontrollabe lust and striving.the caller did not ask WHY? why do we use more drugs than other countries? how deep is the Hole that must be filled with addictions to sex,drink,drugs,violence,fast cars,consumerism and debt?
i admit i am screwed up,just read this blog it's no secret, but i somehow found Soul Mate and have not screwed that up.

okay it's time to bring out CYRUS (real name).back in the mid 90s Soul Mate and i went to Harbin fairly regularly (it's a clothing optional spa/campground just beyond Calistoga).one sunset i was sitting at a dry well near the cafe waiting for SM when this old plump white guy sat down nearby and started talking to me. his name was Cyrus and he was dying of prostate cancer,he claimed to have made and lost millions over his career and knew his third and last wife had married him just for his money. all his children hated him and only tolerated him to keep their checks coming.he was at Harbin because one of his kids was groupie idolizing some guru there and he wanted to have a heart to heart afterwards.
"where did i go wrong? i made money.i had power over people.how come i'm so unhappy?" or words to that effect. then he said to me, a fat black pain straddled poor crip that i must be as miserable as he.right on cue SM came out,topfree, and kissed me on my bald pate.i stated that despite poverty and obvious infirmity i was Happy with my life,mate,children,hobbies and situation.Cyrus obviously didn't want to hear this... while giving blood this week (again) i heard a self proclaimed 90 year old woman in a wheelchair state to her caregiver." i hate family. i've never had one and i resent these people trying to include me in theirs!" it is what it is apparently.

now i minored in NATIVE AMERICAN HISTORY (A MAN CALLED HORSE,DANCES WITH WOLVES etc) at City College SF and had many classmates who were NAs too.some of them,the more spiritual, had no Hole that i could recognize despite being poor and having alcoholic relatives and friends. IMHO they were TOO SPIRITUAL for this modern world.this cutthroat, dog eat dog,feed the rich & screw the poor necropolis.

now a society which literally has people from all over the world should be more balanced,right? but we're not? we rape the planet for transient wealth and we rape and sell people for the same reasons.back @1970 the NY Times had a quote from somebody famous (no prize if u know who) 'THEY STEAL OUR DREAMS THEN SELL THEM BACK TO US". priceless (see Hippie Nostalgia used for commercials and PBS pledge drives).

i am a history buff and i loved the ROME series on HBO but it made me quite uncomfortable with the parallels to our current mess.is the Greco Roman template of Western Society the basis for The Hole? is emptiness and self loathing our heritage then? my friend KORAK THE KILLER was empty,hollow and addictive.i loved & trusted him but knew his flaws.when i hear about serial killers and shootouts i always listen for his name.not yet...

like i said, i have no answers this time.i have a bookshelf with books on human Evil (Hitler, the SS,Genghis Khan,Attila,the real Dracula,Elizabeth Bathory)even tracing it back thru Hindu pre-history and even several books on ADDICTIVE SOCIETY don't fill all the gaps. what went wrong? why aren't we as a people more Happy? is The Hole the Mark of Cain, the first city builder of The Bible? just asking, thanks for listening.

in other news,
Medicare For All appears to have been smothered in the cradle. look for the Same Old Same Old with fancy frosting out of DC (sigh then die). the dumbassification of America continues...

namaste
semper grumpy
mega