Friday, October 18, 2013

not EXACTLY "fat & paranoid"...

"The heart is the only muscle that can be broken." 
attributed to Oscar Wilde

hola,
may i vent on something stuck in my craw?
thanx.

my ex The Mirage, the last in a line of wimmin
incurious of my life in any details
as they were too self absorbed in their own
to see anything beyond whatever desired persona
fit their needs

told my sons, The Stone Boyz,
that i carried weapons during my five years of cab driving
because i was "fat & paranoid"
i would like to think she was too ashamed to admit
her ignorance on the topic than to think
that she just made up shit
to suit her current  needs
much like our failed marriage...

for the record,
yes i was "fat" the first time
i broke 300 pounds was then
but "paranoid"? hardly.
actually i had been on the fence about carrying weapons.
yes i had a heavy steel 5 cell flashlight given to me for a fare
but other than that and my street skills leaned in
the Gladiator School of Harlem-nada.

now when you drive a cab at the end of each shift
you sit around a picnic table and count yuour fares and tips
and trade war stories about traffic and deadbeat fares,
basically you vent.
one night a kid from Fresno was venting his disappointment,
a young kid in his 20s,he and his wife had moved to frisco and it had
broken them apart plus he was not cut out to be a cabdriver (as few are)
so it was his last shift driving then he was going home to Fresno and sanity....

yes, just like any cliche bad movie he was shot to death that nite
plus the killers,uncaught, never found where he stashed his money
on his body. so...the next nite i was packing a
13 shot Browning High Power automatic
and a 2 shot 22LR derringer
which i had cleverly sewn into my bomber jacket
by cutting up an old pair of jeans to make interior holsters.
as an extra touch, given what other drivers had said,
the derringer pocket/holster was sewn in
facing underneath my armpit to fire
directly into the backseat into any
would be robber.

i was never robbed per se and
discoverd a new found civility when
encountering ignorance,drunks and boors.
only pulled my big weapon 3-4 times and
only when my life or those of
my passengers where in danger.
having been bullied as a child i did not
become a bully in return
i am better than that
for all my flaws.

i was NOT a cowboy
paranoid or
gunslinger
just aware of
the dangers.
so there.

thanx all.

namaste
mega


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