Thursday, April 7, 2011

THE DAMNED

"There are many who dare not kill themselves 
for fear of what the neighbors will say"
-Cyril Connoly

aloha2u,
SIGH. there is a trailer for the movie SCREAM 4
which speaks to me. a young gurl victim is seized
and dragged backwards into an inky blackness,
(by the serial killer?),
leaving a gouged trail of bloody broken fingernails
across the wooden flooring as she is sucked in...
last weekend thru a combination of fatigue and misconceptions
i ran our of the combo
anti depressant/anti neuropathy med CYMBALTA
(which has a "mild" side fx of Suicidal Ideation...small sigh)

at 2.15 pm sunday i crashed as the prior fx wore off..
monday i resumed the meds but too late?
imagine having the joints of your fingers and toes "lubricated"
with both ground glass and battery acid,
imagine your feet as two clumsy lumps
of dead meat at the end of lame unresponsive legs.
imagine kncoking over everything your hands attempt
to touch since you are not quite sure where they are
even when you are looking at them.

this is DIABETIC PERIPHERAL NEUROPATHY
(also a side fx of LYME Disease,which i also have...
both for maybe 20+ years?)
so this plus my inherited Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
 one might imagine how much fun i was to be around.
 SM said "you weren't THAT bad'.....
yes, i have been in worse shape..sigh..

this time however even after resuming
the C meds i am still in an almost identical
plateau of severe pain/discomfort...on top of all this  
REP.PAUL RYAN(Wisc)
and the GOP want to kill me and kill Medciaid/Medicare
via smoke n mirrors "budget cuts"...
.
lemme 'splain how Gov.Gropenfuhrer screwed the poor......
i do not get eye exams or glasses anymore.
lucked out and got cataract surgery b4 the shutdown.
have to pay for dental insurance out of my measly frozen SSDI check
to get half the required exams an aging diabetic requires.
if i need a hearing test,too late.
cannot get another pair of diabetic shoes for lumpy painful feet,
this could lead to gangrene and amputations-which,.
at the moment, i think are srtill covered.
my sleep doctor?-gone,bankrupt.
chiropractic? history.

soon the payments to all  KALIpornia MEDI medicos
will go down 30% Permanently
and state IHSS payments down 12% also Permanently
and we all know how cheap gas and food have become....(sarcasm)

meanwhile Gov.Jerry DIRTBAG Brown wants to cut even deeper still
and RYAN wants to give me MEDI vouchers for services i won't be able to afford
now nor  in the near future ...(long shuddery sigh).

OFF THE TABLE?
tax increases to milionaires and billionaires that match the extended Bush Tax Cuts,
taxes for Oil Extraction,like every other state that has oil reserves.
a license fee for the Public Airwaves even as lil as 1% on US$Billionaires.
end the yacht tax break, i kid u not.
closing tax loopholes for The Elites.
correcting crippling fx of Prop 13
so that business real estate is NOT covered,
(Howard Jarvis slight of hand there).
repeal 3 Strikes for Non Violent Offenders.
close some goddamn prisons...
decriminalize whores but criminalize johns & pimps
legalize pot & taxing  it.
plus some other shit...long sad sigh.
this country has gone insane and 
the inmates are running the asylum....off a cliff.

GTG
namaste
mega

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