SAN FRANCISCO IS....

"When you find a big kettle of crazy.It's best not to stir it up." Scott Adams, recent Dilbert punchline

aloha,
what follows is a lighthearted (for me) memoir in no particular order,okay?

SAN FRANCISCO IS....

-the only city where i have ever been burglarized (3x)
-the only city where i have ever pulled a gun on anyone (2x in my cabbie era)
-where a man in a cheap SRO hotel offered me sex with his blonde girlfriend for comic book money...at the Hotel Dante.
-where i lived above the foul mouthed overinflated CAROL DODA'S dressing room ( see above).
-where i was threatened by a meth addict in a Haight laundromat.

-where i dated one CHURCH OF SATAN blonde shcizophrenic (that i know of).
-bought my first car, a tiny red MG T convertible for $100.
-sang in the stoned background chorus of TODD RUNDGREN'S "Sons of 1984" in Golden Gate Park.
-studied authentic Chinese Tai Chi 2x SIGH.
-seen both naked tourists & whores up close for free.

-attended a strippers Xmas Party in North Beach BIG FUN!
-where i attended both Bill Graham's WINTERLAND (before it was demolished ) and the Chet Helms Family Dog Revival at the Avalon Ballroom ( before it was demolished) likewise the old PLAYLAND AT THE BEACH (before it was also demolished)
-where i was routinely propositioned by gay men (3 accepted @1oo rejected).
-where i wept copiously over the AIDS related deaths of 95% of my male gay friends...it still hurts.
-where i lived in North Beach SROs opposite each other (the Hotel Dante & the Hotel Tevere).i once broke an SRO sink trying to crack a cococnut,i was much younger then...

-where i survived multiple hotel fires without damage or injury, i lost count of how many.
-where i was issued a guard company gun which was too old to commit suicide with (proven by another, no worry as i had my own).
-where i attended both the original EXOTIC/EROTIC & HOOKERS BALLS, saw Margo St.James atop alive elephant at the Cow Palace and had dykes grope my bare ass at another.
-where i attended & graduated from both City College & SF State.
-where i first read my poetry aloud & help organized a weekly on going poetry reading ( a Buddha in the Brooder House..inside joke).

_where i went to EVERY MOVIE THEATER IN TOWN...
about 40% of them now demolished.
-met MY EX (*) then later had routine sex with her in my workplace and often in the Boss's office ( i still have pictures i think).
-where i worked unknowingly a mere block from SOUL MATE in the Civic Center/UN Plaza
area for several years.
- where i first encountered pesto pasta & Chinese sesame cookies YUM!
-learnd the meaning of HAK WI (Chinese for nigger) & UFA (Samoan for f*ck you!)

-where i mourned the loss of the eccentric 24/7 Geary street newstand ALBERT HENRY'S...
-where i walked my Personal Best of 26 city miles early one weekend morning.
-taught a co worker how to steal a Very Expensive Book from our rich penny pinching paranoid Boss, i felt it was justified.
-where i convinced several platonic female friends NOT to have sex with me, i can be noble on occasion.
-where i first bought guns LEGALLY...
-where i found cheap but excellent Chinese,Thai & Vietnamese food within walking distance.

-where i was written up for being both a cranky snarky sarcastic bastard then later being heroic at the same workplace (Moscone Center).
-where i saw a GRATEFUL DEAD Concer at work YAWN! then later found a naked mud covered hippie in the toilet while watching stoned suburban girlrs brain-fried in wheelchairs waiting for their parents to come get them ( thanx ROCK DOCs).
-where i climbed into roped off CONCEPT CARS at various auto shows (Moscone Center again).
-where i witnessed the trebling in size of Moscone Center while i worked there, my pay stayed about the same.
-where i first drove 120+mph while leaving the city on freeways WHEEEEE! (cabbie era)

-where i got deeper into Zen, wrote some decent haiku and learned to explain my concept of Zen succinctly.
-where i bought my first cheap swords at Cost Plus.
-worked in 3 comic book stores part time (& met FRED).
-where i met my first Asian BFF (sic) Kim and with her gay friend Larry coached her into how to give a Great BJ, she got accolades...
-the first major city where i did NOT ride a horse, (NYC,LA & San Antonio previously).

-where i first appeared in several local TV Man On The Street interviews, back in the 70s.
-where i loved the mournful foghorns and the smell of wet eucalyptus in the morning.
-where both my sons were born.
-where i lived with my leggy CHEAP HOTEL GODDESS (poem to follow?)
-where i watched the cops cars burn outside City Hall at the White Night Riots...and yes i cried at the Milk/Moscone Assassinations.

-where i once shook hands with HARVEY MILK & chatted a few about honesty in politics outside the Larkin theater where they were showing Louis Malle's BLACK MOON. i remember he had shaved off his mustasche and began wearing suits, BTW SEAN PENN deserved his Oscar, wonderful wonderful work.DEEP DEEP SIGH.

-where we loved then lost the legendary progressive rock station KSAN...sigh again.
-outran then out thot a Porsche (see prior blogs)
-saw public Gay sex on and above Polk Street my first Halloween there.
-where i mastered the basics of photography in an extremely photogenic locale.
-first worked alongside the SFPD, some great peeps back then.

-where i first carried a gun Legally at huge public events, Candlestick during football season etc ( see above) my job was to stand on the field with my back to the game-to protect the players from their fans.yes, the 49ers were once THAT BAD...
-where i was once taught the fine art of panhandling couples at Aquatic Park by an old drunk who took a shine to me, was fighting with Goddess at the time and taking a Time Out.
-where i walked across the Golden Gate Bridge (many many times) and resisted the urge to jump off...that bridge is haunted.
-where i touched a friends 5 foot long LEMON PYTHON, he had many guns too including a new .50 cal AMERICAN EAGLE automatic.touched that too...
-where i marched nearly naked in a cape & loincloth in TWO GAY PRIDE PARADES...SM was with me but NOT nearly nekkid.

-is the second city where i have run into either ghosts (also LA) or psychics (NYC) and the first where i encountered AN INTENSE AURA OF CORRUPT EVIL...
-where i did a lot of stupid immature and often hurtful things.

-not what it used to be,fun & affordable and blue collar friendly.
-SAN FRANCISCO IS NOW THE BRITTLE JAGGED NEON SLUTTY BITCH TRIBUTE TO EXCESS, sic transit gloria mundi....


all this will probably be explained in future blogs, poems & pictures (now that i have a scanner).
STAY TUNED...

namaste y'all
semper hierophanty
mega