"....you must be A Credit to Your Race".
....various Harlem teachers circa 1950e & 1060s
long frustrated sigh,
what does that even mean?
a House Nigger like O'Bomber or MLK
and WEB DuBois or a Feild Nigger like Malcom X?
still can't see for shit so have lotsa timne to reflect.
1964 and i,an immature 16, and branded as UA
(Under Achiever in bright red on all my school records)
i was set to graduate high school and cast myself u
upon the waves of Life...yeah right,silly me.
anyway this year began my loathing all school "guidance counselors'
as in...if you want to gove over a cliff then
follow their "guidance".
in those days and less so now
the SATs (Scholastic Aptiude Tests) more or less
determined your academic future.
and as a young brasj semi domesticated nigger from
the Harlem -Abraham Lincoln Projects i hadn't a clue.
so i went to the guiodasnce counselor asd many of my Jewish classmates
were getting tutors and facing the SATs woth sheer dread and anxiety..
amnd i was told to relax "it';s just a test of stuff you've already leanred" saith the old drunk
and like a foll i accepted this and went on being 16....
so i took the SATS and was demolished,
English was my strong suit so i figfurwed that that that
amd Reading Comprehension (sic)
would make up for my weak math skills
BUT on Shakespeare i was
blindsided as
AAL THE QUESTIONS CONCERNED HIS TRAGEDIES
whereas all we got in Hrlem were his Comedies
fuckme, didn't even know the bnames of his tragedies
and had not even heard of Othello...
maybe they didn;t want niggers getting jiggy with white womyn
who knows. ?
so anyway i washed out, didn't even qualify for
the local public schools,so basically i was screwed.
then aloong came The United Negro College Fund
which told me and my jealous Harlem running partnere
Ulysses Faison that we had scored in the
99th percentile of ALL Negroes tested in the SATs.
so what did that mean?
well for one thing it got a lot of white liberal colleges
offering mee a partial scholarship to attend.
now obviously i'm no dummy and
altho Mother said we were "Middle Class" (sic)
i knew from obseravtion of the TRUE middle class
at my mostly Jewish High School that
we were indeed the Working Poor.
and even with my Dad's VA death benefits
Life was a dog eat cat struggle.
so when these well meaning white liberals
painted a rosy future if only
we could come up with several thousands per semester
they might as well vbeem selling me
real estate on the moon.
Hello Sucker..
they were baffled about why i was hesitant
so i listend to bottom feeders, the all black colleges in the South
altho Mother said i should try Farleifgh Dickenson or Pepperdine
like that was even in the ballpark and they had not offered anyway.
so i stttled for a full ride at SHAW UNIVERSITY IN RALEIGH N.C.
where my Dad grew up as they had a glossy brochure oif their new campus
and offered to pay everything but fodd
which would run $100 per month,which i deemed do- able....
hello sucker 2..
aftwer a bus ride south i learned that
the beautiful New Campus the articlate blakv man had shown me
on the full color glossy brochure
had been CLOSED for 5 Years....
and all the classes i had wanted in Psych
were now off the menu
(only the older shabby campus was still functioning sorta).
so like any New York nigger i was deeply pissed at
being so gullible and i took it out
in many diverse ways as i soon realized
i was getting fish heads compared to the caviar
offered at the unaffordable white shcols....
so in an act of immmature revwenge my first eassay was oa
Miceky Spillaine inspireds
How To Get Away With Murder
from thew perspective of a serial killer
which is how i met Dean Cheek,
the smug younger brother
of University President Cheek,
i got off with a warning that time but
Dean Cheek decided that we 99 percenters
had too much time on our hands
so he formed a study gropu wherein
we would do a term papaer of our choice
eithere
Violence in America or
Barry Goldwater....
.
so the 8 of us voted for Violence in America
then were smugly informed that we would be
studying Goldwater as that was what Dean Cheek wanted
and my NYC mouth promptly proclaimed
the whole vot rthing was "Bullshit!!"
which was how i got expelled and got a bus ticket home.
thus began my Life of being
both pissed off and
frustrated by Bullshit and
smug assholes dumping on me
from "superior positions"
...sometimes you have to be smart to play dumb but
most times if you're big n black
people only see Field Nigger and
"reality" never gets pas the innate racisms....
so now yoy know how i,
long adrift in many ways,
became the bittersweeet man i am..
pls excuse thew typos still
hope to imptove after the 17th,maybe.....
now off to cull the sunday fishwraps and enjoy?
some football.
namaste
mega
....various Harlem teachers circa 1950e & 1060s
long frustrated sigh,
what does that even mean?
a House Nigger like O'Bomber or MLK
and WEB DuBois or a Feild Nigger like Malcom X?
still can't see for shit so have lotsa timne to reflect.
1964 and i,an immature 16, and branded as UA
(Under Achiever in bright red on all my school records)
i was set to graduate high school and cast myself u
upon the waves of Life...yeah right,silly me.
anyway this year began my loathing all school "guidance counselors'
as in...if you want to gove over a cliff then
follow their "guidance".
in those days and less so now
the SATs (Scholastic Aptiude Tests) more or less
determined your academic future.
and as a young brasj semi domesticated nigger from
the Harlem -Abraham Lincoln Projects i hadn't a clue.
so i went to the guiodasnce counselor asd many of my Jewish classmates
were getting tutors and facing the SATs woth sheer dread and anxiety..
amnd i was told to relax "it';s just a test of stuff you've already leanred" saith the old drunk
and like a foll i accepted this and went on being 16....
so i took the SATS and was demolished,
English was my strong suit so i figfurwed that that that
amd Reading Comprehension (sic)
would make up for my weak math skills
BUT on Shakespeare i was
blindsided as
AAL THE QUESTIONS CONCERNED HIS TRAGEDIES
whereas all we got in Hrlem were his Comedies
fuckme, didn't even know the bnames of his tragedies
and had not even heard of Othello...
maybe they didn;t want niggers getting jiggy with white womyn
who knows. ?
so anyway i washed out, didn't even qualify for
the local public schools,so basically i was screwed.
then aloong came The United Negro College Fund
which told me and my jealous Harlem running partnere
Ulysses Faison that we had scored in the
99th percentile of ALL Negroes tested in the SATs.
so what did that mean?
well for one thing it got a lot of white liberal colleges
offering mee a partial scholarship to attend.
now obviously i'm no dummy and
altho Mother said we were "Middle Class" (sic)
i knew from obseravtion of the TRUE middle class
at my mostly Jewish High School that
we were indeed the Working Poor.
and even with my Dad's VA death benefits
Life was a dog eat cat struggle.
so when these well meaning white liberals
painted a rosy future if only
we could come up with several thousands per semester
they might as well vbeem selling me
real estate on the moon.
Hello Sucker..
they were baffled about why i was hesitant
so i listend to bottom feeders, the all black colleges in the South
altho Mother said i should try Farleifgh Dickenson or Pepperdine
like that was even in the ballpark and they had not offered anyway.
so i stttled for a full ride at SHAW UNIVERSITY IN RALEIGH N.C.
where my Dad grew up as they had a glossy brochure oif their new campus
and offered to pay everything but fodd
which would run $100 per month,which i deemed do- able....
hello sucker 2..
aftwer a bus ride south i learned that
the beautiful New Campus the articlate blakv man had shown me
on the full color glossy brochure
had been CLOSED for 5 Years....
and all the classes i had wanted in Psych
were now off the menu
(only the older shabby campus was still functioning sorta).
so like any New York nigger i was deeply pissed at
being so gullible and i took it out
in many diverse ways as i soon realized
i was getting fish heads compared to the caviar
offered at the unaffordable white shcols....
so in an act of immmature revwenge my first eassay was oa
Miceky Spillaine inspireds
How To Get Away With Murder
from thew perspective of a serial killer
which is how i met Dean Cheek,
the smug younger brother
of University President Cheek,
i got off with a warning that time but
Dean Cheek decided that we 99 percenters
had too much time on our hands
so he formed a study gropu wherein
we would do a term papaer of our choice
eithere
Violence in America or
Barry Goldwater....
.
so the 8 of us voted for Violence in America
then were smugly informed that we would be
studying Goldwater as that was what Dean Cheek wanted
and my NYC mouth promptly proclaimed
the whole vot rthing was "Bullshit!!"
which was how i got expelled and got a bus ticket home.
thus began my Life of being
both pissed off and
frustrated by Bullshit and
smug assholes dumping on me
from "superior positions"
...sometimes you have to be smart to play dumb but
most times if you're big n black
people only see Field Nigger and
"reality" never gets pas the innate racisms....
so now yoy know how i,
long adrift in many ways,
became the bittersweeet man i am..
pls excuse thew typos still
hope to imptove after the 17th,maybe.....
now off to cull the sunday fishwraps and enjoy?
some football.
namaste
mega
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