Saturday, September 14, 2013

less cranky pants today...

"Men still rule the world, and
 I'm just not sure it's going that well." -James Temple


hola,
an odd thing has happened since i last posted
more than once a week. my emotional health
has improved.

oh i still feel lie shit and fizzle like an old radiator but
all in all i feel LESS like dying each day.
but do recall there is the so called "honeymoon phase"
pre -suicide and enough of our friends have killed
themselves over the last 20 years to know this is so.

this year our friend "F" killed herself
after a decade or more of decline and paranoia
caused by an overdose of anesthesia during
some minor surgery.

she began falling into the
paranoid -centric "Conspiracy Multiverse"
where every action and actor
is a threat because you're the center
of the universe (yours)
and there is no concept of randomness Ever.

this line of thot was congealed yesterday by
 my BFF co=blogger G Man
asking if i'd seen a PBS docu on Suicide
and of course I have but
i much prefer melodrama to
a quiet thrift store knock off
hehehehee.

back to "F"
a small scholarship has been set up
in a school she graduated from
and her estranged brother argued about
 the language describing her,
language set by a nurse who knew her well.

the issue was
"died peacefully at home"
which the nurse thot was
inaccurate as in her opinion
suicide is NEVER peaceful.
this the Medical Model
which indirectly apes a superhero sequel
 i am cobbling together ( Hell for Breakfast)
wherein aggressive action is always the norm
"stopping the tides with a spork"
i wrote.

the nurse is obviously not as ill as "F"
SM or i who see almost all forms of Death
optional and in it's own way painfree thus
peaceful....

in other news it is
Indian Summer
here in Paradise and gorgeous
(as a test think of soemthing else with
'Indian' in it which is positive
and sports don't count.try it..)
so of course i am hobbling around indoors
to doctors,county meetings
and pharmacies.

half wanted to see "Riddick" but
may have to catch it on cable
or Netflix once
I get the local WiFi hassles sorted out.

as noted the public library a block away
set up a WiFi Hot Spot in
late summer and of course this battles the WiFi
Hot Spot set up at Starbucks several blocks way
a few years back as well as at least three others.
this is the first blog attempt in about 45 days
not to be cut off in mid sentence.

anyhoo
as u were?

namaste
mega

No comments:

Post a Comment